I’ve rarely heard a friend tell me that her ideal man should have a great personality, be intelligent, handsome, and most importantly, shorter than her. Perhaps she can accept the height disparity if her perfect man possesses the first three characteristics. If you take a moment to analyze this situation, it isn’t easy to understand how height can negatively affect a man’s desirability. Last I checked, a man’s height doesn’t magically increase his IQ or sense of humor.
Nonetheless, according to research from Rice University and the University of North Texas, the height of a potential partner matters to women, and it matters much more to women than it does to men. Tall men are often seen as protectors, symbols of strength and masculinity, while short men are relegated to the friend zone.
Society encourages men to be dominant and women to be submissive, therefore having the image of a tall man hovering over a short woman reinforces this value. Social media perpetuates this societal bias, specifically TikTok, and dating apps.
Even though the average height of men in the US is 5’9’’, many women state in their dating profiles that their prospective date must be at least 6 feet tall.
In a 2014 study, researchers at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland found that height appeared to be correlated with the perception of masculinity. When it comes to dating apps, one study found that men who said they were 6’3” or 6’4” got about 60% more messages than men who were 5’7” or 5’8”.
These statistics lead me to question why women, compared to men, seem disproportionately concerned about their potential partner’s height. Research indicates that 23% of men are open to relationships where the woman is taller. The favorable portrayal of tall women in media and fashion may play a role in some men’s preferences for tall women. Media representation of tall women as confident and glamorous (e.g., supermodels, actresses) can normalize or even glamorize relationships where the woman is taller. This cultural exposure may influence men to find taller women more desirable, associating height with sophistication and allure. On the other hand, even in a kid’s story, Cinderella — the leading man is tall. Imagine if Prince Charming got off his horse and he’s 5’5.” Would Cinderella still swoon?
Are short men doomed to remain alone? Not necessarily, as demonstrated by the phenomenon of the “short king.” This term originated on social media platforms as a way to counter negative stereotypes about short men. This apparent disregard for a man’s height was evident during the 2022 Media Awards season, as indicated by celebrity couples like Sophie Turner ( 5’9” and Joe Jonas( 5’7”), Spider-Man’s Tome Holland (5’8”) and Zendaya (5’10”), and Keith Urban (5’10”) and Nicole Kidman (5’11”).
Does this mean that only the rich and famous can challenge the traditional standards of beauty that have determined that tall women are statuesque, sexy, and desirable, while short men are deemed as lacking an important component of male desirability? If Tom Holland wasn’t Spider-Man, would he still be getting the girl?
Be honest with yourself. If you had to choose between Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage), the intellectual dynamo from Game of Thrones) and Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) 6’4” of raw, brooding power), who would win your heart?
Let’s stop pretending height defines masculinity, and let’s quit perpetuating the Cinderella complex. Height is nothing more than a number, mere inches and feet. It holds no weight in defining strength, character, or worth.
Comments