Sinner or Saint?
It’s a relentless game—figuring out whether the modern man craves a fiery temptress or a pure, untouchable angel. In her daily life, a woman is bombarded with conflicting messages about what it means to be the “perfect” woman. We’re constantly told by society and the media that the ideal woman should fulfill a man’s every sexual fantasy. Influencers and celebrities flaunt see-through dresses, daring photoshoots, and bold, provocative actions, yet at the same time, women are warned: don’t flaunt your sexuality too much, don’t send the “wrong” message. But what message are we really supposed to send to the man we hope to attract?
Does a woman today play the role of a Playboy Bunny, catering to every carnal desire, or is she still expected to play the demure, modest handmaiden—cooking, cleaning, and silently morphing into a sultry seductress only when the lights go off?
In the swinging ’60s, Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique shattered taboos with its bold take on women and sex. It was thrilling to read, but dangerous to admit wanting to dip a toe into that forbidden pool. Back then, there were “good girls” and “bad girls”—and everyone knew exactly what those labels meant. I didn’t aspire to sainthood, but I wasn’t about to risk the shame of being branded a “bad girl” either. So, I perfected the schizophrenic act: the modest Catholic schoolgirl by day, and the femme fatale by night. The pressure to constantly switch between these two roles felt like my head was spinning, Exorcist-style.
Fast forward more than fifty years, and women are still tangled in the web of gender bias that dictates how we’re supposed to express our sexuality. We can’t decide if men are secure enough in their masculinity to appreciate a woman who takes charge in bed, or if they’re still clinging to the notion that a “real man” needs a docile, submissive woman to maintain his alpha status.
Are today’s men any different than those from fifty years ago? Are they brave enough to admit they still want exactly what men have always wanted—whether they’ll say it out loud or not?
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