Barbie Was No Hag
Is it possible that some of men’s perceptions about women come from the same media that brings us 'reality' TV and business models like Mattel’s Barbie, where a woman’s ambitious career choice seems to be fashion model and whose mind is filled with dreams about accessorizing her dream house?
The most popular doll to own when I was growing up was Barbie. A toy manufacturer had designed a doll that captured the then existing perception of what definedthe physical attributes of the perfect woman; blonde, white, anorexic with a disproportionately ample bust and, most importantly she was a bit of an airhead. Naturally, many little girls aspired to be like their favorite doll so they could snag their very own Ken. It wasn’t until 1992 that the manufacturer announced that their Teen Talk Barbie would no longer say the phrase, “Math class is tough” as it sustained Barbie’s vapid image. Unfortunately, by 1992 the women of my generation had already been influenced by the Barbie culture that associated a woman’s identity with her attractiveness. The thought was that if you weren’t attractive; you weren’t visible. And attractiveness and sensuality were attributes reserved for the young.
My mother grew up in the generation that considered marriage as a necessary evil, with one of its requirements taking place at night in the marital bed. She made it clear to me that this sexual union was a part of marriage that a woman must endure, because no nice girl could possibly enjoy it. She sadly advised me that I needed to grin and bear my husband’s sexual urges until the day came that his desires diminished. She told me not to be disheartened because that day wasn’t far away. Then she gave me the really sad news that although now I was a young wife adored by her husband, his admiration would dim once I became an older women. I was outraged by her assumption that his love for me would change once I was no longer young. She wasn’t trying to be mean, but she felt it was her duty to let me know that I wouldn’t always be the belle of the ball. Her life experiences had revealed to her the diminishing value of women as they age. Although she never held an executive level job, she made the most of what life handed her, and did everything in her power to make sure that her daughters were equipped with the tools needed to successfully advance themselves in the world. She instilled in us the belief that neither age, nor looks defined whom we were, and that there wasn’t any obstacle that we couldn’t surmount, regardless of where life took us. She taught all of her children to face adversity with resilience.
The world didn’t always make it easy for me to live up to my mother’s expectations. Many women with less ambitious mothers decided to just lockstep to stay in line with established role models for women. Mattel had their hands on the pulse of the consumer; there was no mature Barbie; she was eternally young; and as the years went by, society in many subtle ways reminded me that the clock of my desirability was quickly ticking.
Society perpetuates stereotypical myths about universal characteristics of women at different life stages. Typically young women are portrayed as vibrant, energetic and sexually alluring, while older women are seen as dowdy and undesirable, unless they are performing their role as a mother. Even in the 90’s, the 50’s image of older women was still prominent in the idealization of the perfect woman. June Cleaver of the “Leave it to Beaver” television show personified a woman who knew her purpose in life, and that was to serve her family. She epitomized the asexual woman who always wore modest clothing, knew how to do a formal curtsey, had ladylike pastimes, and slept only near, not with her husband in a twin bed. Good girls got married; “loose” girls were destined to lurk in the shadows shunned by polite society. June’s style goal was to appear tasteful, rather than alluring.
Perhaps the cultural institutionalization of women as socially inferior to men was best exemplified in the show “Father Knows Best.” The show perfectly captured the common sentiment of the decade that a woman’s place was in the kitchen, and men belonged in a professional environment. Although a woman might be queen of her home, men were still in charge of all the major decision-making. I spent many hours enthusiastically watching these shows as a young girl and yet something kept tickling my brain about the show’s message. Jim was a great dad, but was this idyllic presentation of family life that promoted a patriarchal power hierarchy something that I wanted for myself? Jim Anderson was the man who had the answers to the complex issues of life; while his wife, Margaret was confined to ruling the domestic sphere. They seemed content in these roles, but would I be?
For many girls of my generation, movies also reinforced misconceptions about what should constitute a desirable self -image for a woman. Numerous films such as Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Goldfinger and the Dirty Dozen focused on the independent, macho man fighting for the greater good; while a woman’s purpose centered on her marriageability. Eliza was nothing until Henry Higgins cleaned her up in My Fair Lady; while in Marriage Italian Style, Filumena had to use her looks to enhance her station in life with the fickle Domenico, and once she became older she lost much of that desirability. These movies also illustrated the moral lessons preached by the movie industry in the 60’s that based the outcome of a woman’s life on the dichotomy between good girls and bad girls. Eliza was a poor, innocent waif, who after her metamorphosis, would become a beautiful lady and have a secure future as long as she always remembers what she’s been taught. Filumena was a sexy prostitute who could never seriously be considered as Domenico’s wife, especially as she grew older, until she resorted to tricks to hook Domenico. Was there a not so subtle message here about what a woman should expect from life if she didn’t play by the rules or simply made the mistake of growing older?
Wrinkles, sagging skin, grey hair and drooping body parts are all a part of aging. Society has decided that these characteristics are so repugnant that older women should be hidden from sight, especially in advertisements, movies and television. The words, attractive and young are not synonyms; and yet when a women ages so does her perceived attractiveness. Telling someone that they look young for their age is not a compliment as it implies that a., they are not young and b., young is attractive but people of their age are not. There’s a contradiction regarding the concept of aging as everyone wants to live a long life, but no one wants to get old. Does this mean that people would rather die than become old? It’s interesting that as teenagers we can’t wait to get older and fantasize about one day possessing the sophistication and privileges that come with added years. I recall the frustration I felt as a teenager when my carefully researched arguments about the justification for the war in Vietnam were ignored by my siblings as the ignorant ruminations of youth. I consoled myself by thinking that once I was older everyone would listen to my proclamations with great respect. When did my joyful anticipation turn to dread at the realization that getting older wouldn’t guarantee respect?
Even our hair length is used as a gauge of our attractiveness and moral standing. The use of this seemingly random criterion for characterizing women wasn’t a recent development. In the past, Christian veiling described the practice of women covering their heads. For those of us who may have forgotten our bible classes, Corinthians in the New Testament references covering long hair for modesty. Apparently, long hair was considered seductive and the sight of it would incite men to ravage women. As women age, however, they are often encouraged to adopt a short hairstyle, as it is more appropriate for older women. Does that infer that they no longer have to protect their modesty, because as an older woman they are no longer attractive to men, so no self-respecting rapist would look at them?
Although, by 1995 Mattel was making Barbie doctors and firewomen, these dolls were still stereotypically gorgeous young women wearing high heel shoes that emphasized their hourglass figures. By 2016 Mattel addressed the outcry for diversity in its dolls by introducing the “So In Style “line of dolls. Barbie now had representative dolls from all religions, races and cultures; but aside from a one-time promotion for International Women’s Day in 2018 celebrating role models, an older women Barbie was an anathema on Mattel’s concept of feminine beauty. I guess that Mattel didn’t want to take the chance of frightening young girls with a depiction of their future selves.
Barbie continues to influence a girl’s internalized feelings about who she is and whom she should grow up to be. Will a woman’s self esteem change, as her perfect body, hair, face and relationships change with age and because of this change is she destined to become invisible?
Comments